What Happened to the Handshake?

Just the other day, I ran into an old colleague of mine.  The conversation was brief and professional, with the exchange of work e-mails somewhere in there. Networking, Networking, Networking.

Now, I like to consider myself to be 'with the times', I'm just groovy like that, but what the hell happened to the classic handshake?

After our conversation we went in to shake hands, no sorry, I went in to shake his hand while he presented his fist.  I awkwardly enveloped his fist with my open hand, as if we were playing Rock/Paper/Scissor.  He smiled uncomfortably while I tried to make a joke about it saying something like "New secret hand shake!!".  He didn't want a secret hand shake.

These days when I meet people I'm no longer worried about making small talk or whether they'll like me, or if my outfit looks good.  I'm freaking out about what mangled hand shake they'll come up with, most likely ending in what looks like human origami.  I've been given the palm slide with a flick of the fingertips, the firm handshake with lean-in 2 pats on back, and the ever so complicated all-in-one handshake, palm slide into a fist bump.....I barely remember what I had for breakfast let alone remember all these patty cake moves.

Next time you see me, unless you're Howie Mandel, just shake my hand.